Stendhal's descriptions of scenes from his youth often provoke present-moment commentaries, blurring together the feelings of a young boy and the reflections of a middle-aged man. He often compares his father to a tyrant or king, on slender pretenses: young Henry is not allowed to play with other kids, not allowed to leave home at age 10, and must accompany his father on walks. While discussing his childhood in Grenoble, Stendhal describes how Eighteenth-century French society habitually crushed his natural feelings. Stendhal forthrightly admits to wanting to sleep with his mother, who died when he was seven. Stendhal says that none of these women ever honored him with her favors and, despite others who did, the “habitual condition of my life is that of an unhappy lover.” But Stendhal asserts that his real life can be found in a list of names: Virginie, Angela, Adele, Melanie, Mina, Alexandrine, Angelina, Metilde, Clementine, Giulia, Madame Azur, Amalia. Stendhal himself campaigned with Napoleon in Russia and became consul at Civitavecchia. Stendhal notes at the start that other men's biographies naturally focus on their public career. The first chapter was written in two days in November 1835, and Stendhal also claims that The Life of Henry Brulard is an imitation of Oliver Goldsmith's novel The Vicar of Wakefield. In reality, Stendhal was 52 years old when he began the memoir and the first scene is a small fiction. Stendhal explicitly compares himself with Rousseau and calls The Life of Henry Brulard his own Confessions. He believes a quickly-written rough draft would, like automatic writing, disclose the truth about himself. He also decides to write as fast as he can without revising, to avoid lies. He heads home through a cold mist at night and decides he will reflect upon his past until its truth emerges. He reflects on the churches and monuments of the city and how much they have changed since he was a young man.
He begins questioning his accomplishments as he approaches 50 years of age. The Life of Henry Brulard begins in 1832, with Stendhal on the Janiculum (named for Janus, the two-faced god of beginnings) looking down at Rome.
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